Today, I was confirmed as a PhD candidate. At last, I am officially (no longer provisionally) a PhD candidate! (yay!) after nine months of hard work. It was also nine months of learning. Intense learning, I may say. Some thoughts:
- I started out thinking I knew what I wanted to know. But as I went along — after literally hundreds (or thousands, no?) of journals skimmed through and read — I realised I had to know it more. Doing a PhD is, in itself, a good exercise of humility. It made me realise how much of the world I do not know, how much there is to know, and how much of it is beyond my capacity to know. I now know, by heart, that it is impossible to know everything about the topic I am investigating, and I am not here to save the world. I am just doing a PhD. I just hope it will make a difference, but realistically, I expect it will not change the world.
- They say the PhD is a lonely journey. To a certain extent, it is. You work on it alone. You read the articles alone. You write the manuscripts alone. But it does not necessarily have to be a lonely journey. It helped that I have a community of fellow PhD students who, more or less, have the same struggle. Misery loves company, they say. Knowing that there are others around you who have more or less the same experience as you have makes the burden more light, and the journey less lonely.
- Never underestimate the relationship that you have with your supervisors, especially your main supervisor. I am so lucky to have found a main supervisor who provides an excellent balance of challenge and support on what I do, and who believes in my capacity more than I believe in myself. Takeaway: choose your supervisors wisely.
- Sometime ago, I read this somewhere: “it takes a village to make a thesis,” which is a play on “it takes a village to raise a child.” Truly, make no mistake of thinking that it is only you building that thesis (unless you really are alone in doing that — abandoned by the rest of the world). Initially, I thought it was just me. But no. This thesis is, and ideally is, my work with plenty of help from my supervisors and other helpful friends.
- It is hard work. Period. Some people may be talented enough to work “less hard” than others, but generally, PhD is hard work. As such, it is usually coupled with frustration. I have had months when I felt like a total loser, when I felt like I was not progressing and that I am failing myself. But I guess most PhD students go through that phase — that “what am I doing with my life” phase, and that eventually, you will get that “I am doing something awesome with my life” answer.
I am lightyears away from that degree, but it is always comforting to know that I am a step closer to it. The last nine months were an intense period of learning. I know the next two or so years will be equally challenging, but I am ready for it — with a (little) help from my friends.